Woman decides to cut all her friends off because they bailed on her on her birthday: ‘I know people say “show up for yourself,” and I can. I always do. But for once I wanted someone ELSE to show up for me’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 28, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

Birthday blues

I don't know about you guys, but for me, birthdays are the most sensitive days. What they say is true: if you don't cry at least once, it's not your birthday. I remember once I cried only because I THOUGHT nobody was going to come (I think only two people texted me saying they couldn't make it).

In the end, most of my friends came to my house, but I can only imagine how much I would've cried if nobody actually showed up. That's what happened to the girl in this story, and hey, I don't blame her for wanting to cut everybody off and start fresh; I would do the same thing.

Sometimes, it takes a big disappointment to see things more clearly. Maybe you think some people are your friends when they're not, and that's normal; it can happen. When you're very lonely, you tend to overestimate some people's presence in your life and fail to realize they might have other, closer friends.

It has happened to me, and though it's sad, it's definitely not the end of the world. It isn't anybody's fault either. In friendship, much like in romance, people don't choose who to be closest to based on an objective list of characteristics; they choose based on timing and pure vibes, and there's no point in trying to match the vibe of someone who doesn't naturally vibe with you. You have to pick up your stuff, go out, and find someone who naturally matches your freak, and trust me, they exist.

I might be overstepping by assuming the birthday girl has to find other friends, but I'm just trying to empathise with her and follow her intuition. I'm sure this isn't the first time she's thought about this. This must've been the drop that made the glass overflow.

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  • Birthday Crying Story

    Cheezburger Image 10666669312
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The saddest birthday

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  • All my friends bailed on my birthday and now I don’t want to talk to any of them anymore

    My birthday is September 28 and I wanted to celebrate this weekend. I invited around 10 people to a birthday dinner and literally changed the time/plans around trying to accommodate everyone's schedules.
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  • Now basically nobody is coming. And what hurts even more is that some people didn't even TELL me they couldn't come. I had to follow up with them myself and ask if they were still
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  • coming just to get "oh sorry I can't." Like... were you ever going to tell me?? What would've happened if I didn't ask? Were you just going to ghost me until the day of?
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  • One of my friends knew about my birthday and decided to go to Six Flags with his girlfriend instead. Ever since they started dating I feel like he's constantly ditching me for her.
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  • I think the reason this is affecting me so badly is because I go ALL OUT for other people's birthdays. I decorate. I buy gifts. I help plan things. I bake things. I rearrange my schedule. I genuinely love making the
    via Present_Night_4304
  • people I care about feel special. And now it's my birthday and I'm realizing I have to decorate my own apartment by myself. Buy my own cake. Bake my own birthday stuff. Plan
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  • everything myself. Celebrate myself. I know people say "show up for yourself," and I can. I always do.
    via Present_Night_4304
  • Cheezburger Image 10666669568
    via Shaadi Ahmadi

    Birthdays shouldn't be lonely

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  • But for once I wanted someone ELSE to show up for me. I wanted someone to be excited about my birthday. I wanted someone to want
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  • to come see my new apartment. I wanted friends who text ME first and ask what we're doing instead of me chasing everyone for an answer.
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  • My original dream was literally just to get dressed up, have dinner with my friends, and go to the club afterward. Nothing insane.
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  • This is probably going to be the first birthday I spend on my own and I'm devastated. At this point I don't even want to do anything anymore. I cancelled the
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  • dinner and part of me genuinely never wants to speak to any of these people again. I know I'm extremely emotional right now, but I just feel like something broke in me.
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  • I don't want friendships where I have to beg people to show up. I want friends who actually WANT to show up for me the way I show up for them.
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  • Am I overreacting for wanting to distance myself from everyone after this? Because right now I'm just really _hurt.
    via Present_Night_4304
  • dawnsteam These people aren't your friends. You're not overreacting at all. I'm a busy person (apart from work, I travel a lot in my free time) but I will always make time for my friends.
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  • Jefferybriann You're on the right track when you say you don't want to talk to them anymore. I know it hurts, but it's for the best.
    via Jeffreybriann
  • Cheezburger Image 10666675456
    via Victor Sutty

    Wish for new friends

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friendship friends toxic relationship
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